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A Gimenez Fireside Chat with Mr. Piro

By Armando Gimenez ’22

They say that an interview is a formal dialogue between two people to determine a person’s character in a professional environment, but I believe that an interview doesn’t have to be professional. Mr. Piro is a well-loved and appreciated member of the faculty that has a special place in the hearts of the students. Mr.Piro is well known for his incredible character and supervision of the library( or am I getting him confused with his rival Mr.Bruno, the ying to his yang). The dialogue presented to you is just guys being dudes. 

Armando Gimenez: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen Welcome to our first interview on the Salesian Spectator. We have here one of the greatest faculty members ever in Salesian High, Mr. Anthony Piro. First question, let’s get this started. How are you feeling today, sir?

Mr. Piro: Uh. Good, Armando. Good

AG: Excellent. How do you wake up in the morning knowing that you have to be you giving out packets to pimply, energetic kids?

Mr. Piro: Um, I feel great waking up. You know, I have my lessons planned usually a week ahead of time and those packets that you so much like are used to supplement the lectures and the other work that you do in class to ensure that you reach your ultimate success within my AP World History Class.

AG: Wow, that is a long eccentric sentence. Are you happy with the impact you have made in the school community, such as the students large enthusiasm around you?

Mr. Piro: I am. As a teacher if you can just have an impact on one student you feel as if you’re doing your job well.

AG: In an ever-growing school community, are you worried about the new personalities you have to interact with as the Freshman Dean?

Mr. Piro: No. I get new kids every year. Each class has their own personality. Each student has their own personality and you do your best to work with it.

AG: As a teacher, what do you view as a professional success? 

Mr. Piro: Having an impact on one or many students, when they are able to grasp what you are trying to teach them and they reach their success. A teacher will feel successful.

AG: This far into the interview. Do you regret agreeing to this? And if not, how far can I go to make you?

Mr. Piro: No, why would regret it?

AG: You’ll see why. Along with your rise in popularity? You have gained multiple nicknames such as COACH, Packet Piro, America’s Last Hope, and the Crusher of Juul. Which one is your favorite? And which is you least favorite? 

Mr. Piro: I didn’t even know I had some of these nicknames.

AG: Yes, I made them up on the spot.

Mr. Piro: Which one is my favorite? 

AG: If you would like me to list them I would gladly.

Mr. Piro: I very much enjoy being a teacher and a coach. Even though I don’t coach here at Salesian, students still call me coach. That’s a profession, I enjoy having, coupled with being a teacher. …but America’s Last Hope. You know, you might see me in the political realm one day. What’s the worst one?

AG: Yes. Why do you think you have become a significant figure in the Salesian Community, and do you believe this popularity has always existed.

Mr. Piro: Being able to be strict, when I need to be strict, but adding humor into the lesson and allowing the student to have a good time in the class. You have to have a balance.

AG: Really? OK. How did you manage to become the best Ultimate Frisbee instructor of all time?

Mr. Piro: I would not take that title. I am doing it so that the kids who love to play Ultimate Frisbee are able to play Ultimate Frisbee here at Salesian. I am nowhere near the best Ultimate Frisbee instructor.

AG: So humble. This is a question from one of your biggest fans, Shayne Dunleavy, “What is your phone number?” He is interested. 

Mr. Piro:  8 6 7 5 3 0 9

Armando Gimenez: Excellent. Another question from Shayne. “Why don’t you wear contacts?”

Mr. Piro: I’m a teacher. Glasses make me look as though I am smarter than I am.

AG: Very Important. I would like to ask you a series of questions that will be the staple of all our upcoming interviews. What are some of your hobbies and interest, Mr. Piro?

Mr. Piro: I very much like to visit historical places and national parks. I do enjoy reading on Sundays and watching football. Most recently, one of my favorite hobbies has been making myself miserable watching Yankees and Giants and Rangers all lose.

AG: Yes, aren’t we all. What are some of your previous professions? 

Mr. Piro: Being a teacher has been my first full time job.

AG: Wow, and you are doing it excellently.

Mr. Piro: Thank you.

AG: Two more questions almost there. This is a popular question to ask randomly. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Yes, this question is necessary.

Mr. Piro: To be able to bring people back from the dead to speak to them just once.

AG: You’re going to love this next question. If you could meet one person in the world who would be past or present and what would you ask them?

Mr. Piro: So it has to be somebody I have never met before. 

AG: You know, if you could meet one person, you know it is a pretty important decision.

Mr. Piro: George W. Bush, forty-third president of the United States of America.

AG: What would you ask him?

Mr. Piro: How did he feel after throwing a perfect strike in his ceremonial first pitch of the 2001 World Series at Yankee Stadium?

AG: All right. Thank you ladies and gentlemen for tuning into the Salesian Spectators first live interview ever and of course to Mr. Piro.

All jokes aside Mr.Piro is appreciated by the students. He is an active and wonderful member of our school community. Thank you for your service to America’s youth.

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